I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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