Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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