Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
