Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
