Yo dont text me then not text me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
