the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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