Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I fill condoms, not promises.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
