does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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