just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
