There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
