So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
