it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
