Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
