So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I didn't notice because vodka
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
