i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
