she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
