we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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