at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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