is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
