why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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