just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
