YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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