you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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