I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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