Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
