My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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