help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
