sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize