we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
