I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Randomize
