Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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