I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
