She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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