Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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