I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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