i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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