covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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