What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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