She's JV to your varsity
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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