My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize