WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize