i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
