you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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