We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
