He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
