ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Are we still banned from the library?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
