i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
