do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
