forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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