just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
