My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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