Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
