Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
