Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
