The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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