Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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