return my video game
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
